Grateful Tuesdays # 16

Dear God,

Thank you for the love you showed me a few Sundays ago through my friends. I have no doubt that it was your love that was shown. That's the first time in a long time. Thank you.

Thank you for David, that he got it. It's all about seeing you for who you really are.

Thank you for my shoes; thank you for my friends around me. Thank you for my family.

==

Thank you. Thank you for you and for the filming friday. Thank you for how much fun it was in the end. Thank you for this beautiful weather. Thank you for the friends you’ve put in my life and for how they affect me, for how you use them to lift me up, God.

Thank you for all of the people at camp. Thank you for Spork and how geeky he is and what a good friend he’s been to my brother.

Thank you for Stephanie and how she was willing to help us out today and how she helped lighten the mood a lot and keep me from going crazy.

Thank you for inventing the idea of being creative; thank you that it’s something we can all do. Thank for letting me make movies.

==

There’s quite a gap between what we could do and what we end up doing, isn’t there? God, I know I didn’t live up to my potential today, and that’s very frustrating to me. I’m glad that you are still willing to love me anyway, even though I’m functioning far below what I could.

What’s the secret? How do live how I want to?

I’m afraid. I’m afraid of a life-style of under productivity. No, wait... that’s not the right word. I’m afraid of living less than... perfect? Is that all? I know I’m not ever going to be perfect; I just would like to feel that I come close more often than not.

But maybe then I would forget you? I think I tend to forget you anyway, unless things get really bad.

I’m sorry. That’s not the way it should be. I’m remembering you now, and I’m seeing that I need you. I need you to be drawing me away from the things that distract from the life you have for me. That life is so much better than any I could dream up for myself or am inclined to live.

Thank you that I can always come back to you, that you have no three strike rule — I would have used those up a long time ago!

Thank you that Jeremy puts up with me. I know sometimes I’m frustrating to work with. I know I don’t always practice what I preach.

I’d love to have a deeper conversation with you than this, God. I’m just going through motions right now, but I know I need to. I know that these first sputtering starts are the beginning of a life-style of thanksgiving.

Help me to live that life God: Keep my eyes open to see reality and my thoughts pointed towards you.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen