Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Ecclesiastes 7:2

Dear God,

You say that it's better to be in the house of mourning than the house of rejoicing. Well tonight I'm mourning myself, the things I've done. I'm in mourning for the lustful, ego-driven life I have lived, for my selfishness and for my hate of You. For the manipulation I've used. For jealousy. For raping the souls of my friends. For the hate shown and love withheld. For sacrificing everyone I've loved on the alter of my Self. For the blackness I've spilled or ejected or spewed onto the world. For the lies I've told and the people I've killed. For the girls I've raped and the people I've mowed down.

God, restore me to you. I can't stay in this darkness any longer. God, thank you for your light and you love.

In Jesus' name,



Katie said...

Wow...very raw!

The awareness of the blackness and darkness that can hide in your heart are so overwhelming. I've known those feelings.

But God's forgiveness is so healing.

Queen Mum said...

God knew this. He's been waiting for you to give it all to Him. I'm sure you found love, open arms and forgiveness. I know you will receive this from all your friends as well, all you have to do is ask. Love you.